Hey Nate - you guys are 2-9. You have no cause to be guaranteeing anything. Just shut up and play. You and the rest of those knuckleheads on your team. Just shut up and play. No chest thumping, no first down gestures, no end-zone celebrations, no sack dances. You guys have not earned that right. Your team has sucked for 40 years - it takes more than a single catch or a single sack for you to celebrate anything. Just give the ball back to the ref and go back to the huddle and do it all again until you win the game. Then celebrate.
I know you haven't been around for any but this year's edition of sad-sack football, and I certainly don't blame you for all that has (and hasn't) happened with this team, but please - less talk, more walk.